In Her Kitchen

When I was a kid I wanted a play kitchen sooo badly. I mean really, why play house if you weren't going to cook, right? I used to play house with my brothers and because we didn't have a play kitchen we would make made do with what we had, certain toys would become pots and pans and other toys would become food. We (pretend) cooked and ate a lot of beans back in those days because we had a game called "Don't Spill The Beans." If I remember correctly I think it even came with real beans back then. The game also came with a kettle ( maybe it was supposed to be a bean pot) and the premise of it was to take turns piling your beans onto the top of the pot without spilling any (boring). We never played with this toy the way it was meant to be played with, I mean come on, there were REAL BEANS, we used the beans for pretend cooking and beans were ALWAYS for dinner. If I remember correctly we even played out this one scenario where my brother would come home from work and ask "What's for dinner", to which I would reply "beans and (whatever else) and he would say, in a somewhat annoyed tone "Beans again?" (we were so original weren't we).

Recently, we moved the baby out of our room and set her up in her own room. One of the things I did was section off a portion of her room so that we could set up a pretend kitchen for her. I know that at almost one year old she can't possibly know that she wants a toy kitchen or even cares about one, but it’s something I really wanted her to have, and yes, I agree, that it was probably because I never had one. I agonized over toy kitchens for a few weeks, researching them and shopping around on the internet for the best price. I tortured just about everyone I knew with my uncertainty over whether I should get her one of the fancy plastic ones with all the modern appliances and realistic sounds or if I should stick with the more classic wooden kitchen without all the bells and whistles and better suited to allow for more imaginative play. I really drove everyone crazy. In addition to torturing myself and everyone I knew with what kind of kitchen to get, I also agonized over what kind of message I was sending her by purchasing this kitchen. Was I setting her up to fall into gender specific role-play because I was giving her a kitchen, should I encourage her to play with more cars and trucks? Was I limiting her career choices later in life by suggesting that women belonged in the kitchen? During all that second guessing, I was in fact leaning towards purchasing the wooden kitchen and it didn't help that the basic fridge, stove and sink set could also be added on to with all sorts of adorable additions and accessories like a wooden dishwasher, washing machine, microwave, ironing board, etc. I couldn't believe that was me, there I was, worried about what message I was sending my daughter and at the same time I was drooling over toy appliances (shiver), and trust me, cooking aside, I HATE chores.

In the end it was Ellie who decided for me, she showed real interest in a play kitchen at a friends house. After observing her for an afternoon while she opened and closed doors, turned knobs, and squealed in delight at sounds, I went home and purchased the basic wooden kitchen for her. Perhaps one day I’ll even slowly add on the dishwasher, washing machine, and microwave but for right now she’s good to go. I decided that I’m not sending her any mixed messages after all. Playing house is an important part of growing up and emulating what we see our parents do is equally important for our development, the fact that she sees me in the kitchen everyday doesn’t mean that she will grow up thinking I didn’t do anything with my life, hopefully it will encourage her to want to join me for some fun times in our kitchen.

Written by Deb on January 5, 2005 01:51 AM